What Is Fearful Avoidant Attachment?

Although there are varying estimates from different sources, about 50% or more of the population may develop this style. Secure attachment typically comes from a positive childhood. Children with this attachment style have mothers who meet their emotional needs when they are infants. Kids whose emotional needs are met can feel safer exploring their surroundings.

Since their mothers or caregivers are their safety sources, they feel less distressed when they are left alone. When their primary caregivers return, kids with secure attachment seek contact with them.

People with secure attachment during childhood usually show signs of autonomous attachment as adults. As a result, they have a more positive view of others and themselves. These adults tend to be more open about communicating their thoughts and feelings. They can experience negative events and maintain the same attachment style.

This is because they can still identify positive aspects of relationships. From their perspective, their relationships tend to be trusting and happy. These adults may overlook and forgive the faults of their romantic partners, and their relationships often last longer. They are also comfortable having others depend on them for help and depending on others.

About 30% of people today demonstrate signs of avoidant attachment. When a child’s main caregiver is unresponsive or caring, this type of attachment develops. A parent may meet the child’s basic needs for shelter and food. However, the lack of additional care can lead children to disregard their own needs and strive to gain the caregiver’s attention.

They feel alone and anxious but do not think their own feelings are important. When a primary caregiver leaves, an avoidant child is not distressed. Also, the child is not eager to seek contact when the caregiver returns and may not show emotion. Ignoring emotional needs of infants can contribute to this attachment style.

As adults, people with avoidant or dismissive attachment may have difficulty showing their emotions. They may still have difficulty feeling them as well. Dismissive adults usually have a positive image of self and a negative image of others. Physical touch or closeness may make them feel uncomfortable, and they may accuse partners of being clingy. Also, they may fear physical closeness and the possibility of getting hurt. They often have difficulty accepting or asking for help. In times of distress, they may not rely on their partners. They may also seem distant when partners need help. Their freedom is typically more important to them than close relationships.

As an uncommon style, this one may affect more than 7% of people. It is also referred to as anxious ambivalent or anxious attachment in kids. Children who develop this attachment style may not trust their primary caregivers or view them as dependable. They tend to be clingy and fearful of being left alone. As a result, they are extremely distressed when the primary caregiver or parent leaves the room. When primary caregivers return, these kids seek contact and seem happy to see the adult. However, they are still upset and difficult to console.

When these children become adults, they tend to view others positively. However, they usually have a negative perception of themselves. They tend to require high levels of intimacy or physical contact in relationships. Also, they need the approval of a romantic partner to increase their self-acceptance. As adults, people with preoccupied attachment often still strive for parental approval. They usually fear that partners will be unable to provide them with the affection or intimacy they need. Independence can also cause them to feel anxious.

This style was identified later after the other three. It may also be called unresolved attachment in adults. Children who develop this attachment style display disorganized behavior. When a caregiver returns after leaving, a disorganized child may seem happy at first. However, the child may quickly lose interest or act out instead. Children with this style of attachment tend to be untrusting of caregivers. This attachment style can come from many potential causes, which will be discussed in the next section.

As adults, those with fearful avoidant attachment are poorly adjusted. About 7% of adults demonstrate this attachment style. They tend to hold negative views of themselves and others. Also, they may lack boundaries since they feel that their boundaries are unimportant based on childhood experiences. In adulthood, people with fearful avoidant attachment may avoid deep or committed relationships. Although they may desire those relationships, they often feel anxious or needy about a partner’s love.

Many of these adults stay in the dating phase of a relationship longer since it is more comfortable. While they tend to fear emotional closeness, they often compensate by seeking physical closeness instead. They may have more sexual partners than adults with other attachment styles.