How to Set Boundaries During the Holidays
The holiday season is full of joy and connection, but it can also bring stress, temptation, and triggers for people in recovery. Setting boundaries is crucial for protecting your sobriety and emotional well-being. Boundaries help create safe spaces where you can focus on enjoying the season without feeling overwhelmed or pressured to engage in risky behaviors. For example, establishing rules around avoiding parties where alcohol is present or limiting time with stressful family members can make a big difference.
At First City Recovery Center, we help clients identify their unique needs and teach them how to set boundaries that support their sobriety. Our programs provide tools and guidance so clients feel empowered to prioritize their recovery while still participating in meaningful holiday experiences.
Recognizing Your Triggers During Holiday Gatherings
Holiday gatherings are often filled with potential triggers that could jeopardize sobriety. Recognizing these triggers ahead of time is an essential step toward staying in control and enjoying the season in a healthy way. Here are some common holiday triggers to be aware of:Alcohol and Substances at Social Events:
Many holiday parties revolve around alcohol or other substances. The sight, smell, or social pressure to drink can be particularly overwhelming, especially if you’re in the early stages of recovery. It’s important to anticipate these situations and have a plan to handle them, such as bringing your own non-alcoholic beverage or rehearsing a polite way to decline a drink.Family Conflict and Drama:
Holiday gatherings often bring together people who might not see eye to eye. Unresolved conflicts, heated debates, or even subtle passive-aggressiveness can stir up negative emotions. If past family dynamics have been a source of stress, consider setting boundaries, attending for a shorter duration, or having a trusted support person with you.Overwhelming Crowds and Noise:
Whether it’s large family dinners, bustling holiday markets, or crowded shopping malls, the sheer energy of the holidays can feel overstimulating. For some, this sensory overload can lead to feelings of anxiety or irritability, increasing the temptation to turn to old coping habits. Having calming techniques, like deep breathing or taking breaks, can help you stay grounded.Financial Stress
The holidays can put financial strain on many people due to gift-giving, travel, and other expenses. Feeling the pressure to spend beyond your means can lead to feelings of guilt or inadequacy, which are common relapse triggers. Creating a realistic budget and focusing on non-material ways to celebrate can help reduce this stress.Loneliness or Isolation
For people who have distanced themselves from old friends or family members as part of their recovery, the holidays can amplify feelings of loneliness. Seeing others celebrate with loved ones may trigger sadness or a sense of loss. Connecting with recovery groups, attending community events, or volunteering can provide a sense of belonging and purpose.Change in Routine
Recovery often depends on maintaining a structured daily routine, but the holidays can disrupt this with irregular meal times, travel, or late-night events. These changes might lead to feelings of being unmoored, which can make staying sober harder. Prioritize keeping some elements of your routine intact, like attending meetings or setting aside time for self-care. Acknowledging these triggers isn’t about avoiding the holidays altogether—it’s about empowering yourself to navigate them with awareness and preparation. Planning ahead and having a support system in place can help you enjoy the season while staying focused on your sobriety.Practical Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are the foundation of a successful recovery, especially during the holidays. By creating clear expectations for yourself and others, you can navigate the season with confidence and stability. Here’s how to set effective boundaries:- Clarify Your Limits: Take some time to think about what situations or behaviors feel manageable and which ones don’t. Be specific. For instance, you might decide to attend a gathering only if no alcohol is served or limit your visit to an hour.
- Communicate Openly and Kindly: Let your friends and family know your needs in advance. Express your choices using clear, calm and composed language. For example, “I’m choosing not to drink because my sobriety is important to me. I’d appreciate your support.”
- Practice Saying No: Saying no is a skill that gets easier with practice. Remember, turning down an invitation or request isn’t about rejecting people—it’s about protecting your health and priorities.
- Bring a Support Person: Attending events with a sober friend or someone who understands your recovery can provide extra reassurance and accountability.
- Prepare an Exit Strategy: If a situation becomes too overwhelming or risky, have a plan to leave. Drive your own car or arrange for transportation, so you aren’t dependent on others.
Creating a Holiday Self-Care Plan
The holiday season is busy and often emotionally charged, making a self-care plan essential for people in recovery. A well-thought-out plan helps you manage stress, maintain balance, and stay committed to your goals. Here’s how to create one:
- Focus on Physical Wellness: Stick to a regular sleep schedule, eat nutritious meals, and stay active with exercise or yoga. Physical health directly supports emotional resilience.
- Schedule “Me Time”: Carve out time for activities that relax and recharge you, like reading, journaling, or taking a walk in nature.
- Connect with Support Systems: Whether it’s regular calls to a sponsor, attending support meetings, or leaning on trusted friends, staying connected to your support network is critical.
- Plan for Pushback: Not everyone will understand your choices, and you may encounter people who challenge your boundaries. Practice how you’ll respond calmly but firmly to such situations.
- Have a Backup Plan for Stressful Days: If a holiday gathering feels too overwhelming, have a backup plan to do something that brings you joy, like watching a favorite movie or volunteering for a cause you care about.
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation of your recovery and a way to ensure you stay strong through the season.
Signs You Need to Remove Yourself From a Situation
The holidays can be a joyful time, but they also come with challenges that may test your sobriety. Recognizing when a situation is no longer safe or supportive is essential for protecting your recovery. Here are some clear signs it might be time to step away:
- Feel Pressured to Use Substances: If you’re being pushed to drink or use substances, leaving is safer than risking temptation.
- Emotions Are Escalating: Feeling anxious, angry, or emotionally drained means the environment might not be healthy. Prioritize your mental well-being.
- Conflict Is Brewing: Family tensions or arguments can trigger stress. Step away to protect your peace and avoid unnecessary confrontations.
- Feel Physically Uncomfortable: Signs like a racing heart or knot in your stomach indicate stress. Listen to your body’s signals and step away when needed.
- Boundaries Aren’t Being Respected: If people disregard your boundaries—like offering drinks after you’ve declined—it’s a sign to leave for your safety.
- Risky Behaviors Around You: Excessive drinking or unsafe actions nearby can create temptation. Removing yourself helps maintain your recovery.
- Craving Substances: Cravings are a red flag. Step away and reach out to your support network to stay focused on your sobriety.
- Feel Trapped or Helpless: Feeling stuck or unsupported signals it’s time to find a safer and more supportive environment.
Sometimes the healthiest decision is to step away from a situation that doesn’t align with your recovery goals. Trust yourself, lean on your support network, and know that prioritizing your sobriety is always the right choice.
Focusing on Your Sobriety Goals Amid Holiday Stress
Holidays can test your commitment to sobriety with endless parties, social obligations, and heightened stress. Accountability is a cornerstone of recovery. During the holidays, regular check-ins with your sponsor, recovery group, or trusted friends can keep you grounded. Share your plans and progress with someone who understands your journey, and don’t hesitate to ask for help if you’re struggling. Staying accountable is a sign of strength, not weakness.- Remember Your “Why”: Keep your reasons for choosing sobriety front and center. Write them down or carry a meaningful token as a reminder.
- Set Intentions for Events: Before attending a party, decide in advance how long you’ll stay, what you’ll say if offered a drink, and who you’ll lean on for support.
- Create a Sober Toolkit: Bring a non-alcoholic beverage, keep a friend on speed dial, or step outside for fresh air if you need to reset.
Seeking Professional Support for Addiction Recovery During the Holidays
Navigating the holidays while maintaining sobriety can be tough, but you don’t have to do it alone. At First City Recovery Center, we provide tailored programs designed to help people stay sober and thrive during this challenging season. From therapy to group support, our team is here to guide you every step of the way. Contact us today to start your recovery journey and ensure you have the tools to enjoy a fulfilling, sober holiday season.
MD, Psychiatrist
Dr. Vahid Osman, MD is a psychiatry specialist in Indianapolis, IN.
Dr. Osman completed a residency at Austin State Hospital. He has over 32 years of experience in Psychiatry & Behavioral Health. He is board certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.
